Her Musings: Gym Biddies

Yesterday I went into the ladies' locker room at the school gym. When I walked in I saw a girl standing in jeans and heels in front of the mirror putting on eye liner and doing her hair. Since tons of girls go from gym to class, I really didn't think anything of it.

After I put on my over-sized $3 Hanes Men's V-neck  T-shirt and shorts (sexy right?) I went to walk out of the locker room. To my shock the same girl was standing there, but she had changed INTO her workout clothes,(short-shorts, tank top and a push-up bra). I had thought she was coming from working out, not going to work out. She check herself out in the mirror one more time.

"Do I look pretty?"

While out in the gym I stretched and then search for an empty treadmill--none could be found. When I walked into the upstairs cardio section I saw the same girl from the locker room. She was on a treadmill WALKING with no incline and reading a magazine. I settled for the elliptical next to her hoping she was just warming up. She spent a full 30-minutes walking on the treadmill at a pace my grandmother in her motorized scooter could beat, while I left the gym to go study without completing my run.

Unfortunately, "gym biddies" are a common occurrence at a student gym. They come to the gym in their cute shorts and skank tank tops (oops Freudian slip typo?) hop on a machine and barely break a sweat. I don't get it. Who are they trying to impress? Are they waiting for their close up? I am pretty sure Mr. Deville is not working his glutes on the elliptical. Guys? They aren't looking to pick up girls at the gym. Gym time is their man time, a time meant for brotein and getting jacked. The only thing on guys' minds are biceps and power bars. If you want to impress boys, go to a frat party like every other college girl and get off my stinkin' machine.

"I don't know if you heard, but I did over a hundred"

And the gym biddie has a male counter point. Watching guys lift weights can be one of the most entertaining spectacles on campus. My favorite one to watch from my machine is Mr. 5 second of crazy intensity. He sits in front of a weight in his ripped muscle -T and backwards hat and psychs himself up for a good five to ten minutes. He inhales deeply in and out and stretches. After he is fully pumped up and he breathes intensely, lifts the weight, does five reps, puts it back down and moves on. Each set takes about 10 minutes, giving the muscles time to relax and rendering the exercise way less effective.Rinse and repeat for about 45 minutes to reach full obnoxious level before he high-fives his fellow bro-nameth and leaves.

When I go to the gym, it's my break, from caring about what I look like and whose around me. I take off all my make-up, throw on a man's t-shirt, and jump on a machine until I sweat my stress out. And I don't glisten, I SWEAT, and you know what? it feel awesome. And if I can't do that because little Miss Cindy Barely-Walks is taking up machine, I am going to get cranky. 

So I vote that campus gyms everywhere pass a rule: " If you're going to burn less than 100 calories an hour, just go home."